Opening the Door to the Abundance of Your Spirit

June 29, 2018   |   KindOverMatter.com

I’ve talked with amazing people who told me stories about the life advice they’d received (and followed) – stories like:

  • staying in your chaotic relationship is better than being alone;
  • soul mate or not, people won’t accept you if you stay in your relationship with a woman who isn’t your same race; and
  • do not leave your great paying job even if it is soul-sucking.

I understood. I’ve received (and followed) a lot of advice that sounded just like this!

Reading this now, it probably seems obvious to you that we were on the receiving end of some pretty questionable advice. But, if you’re anything like me, and the people I know, when we’re “at one” with our problems we can be pretty vulnerable to following advice that’s dicey to our thriving. Sometimes the advice is as simply insidious as: You’ll miss out if you don’t do that thing…or…Buy it, it’ll make you feel better…or…Do and give a little more and they’ll care more about you or you'll keep them from failing.

So, who is this Dear Abby of Disempowerment, the dispenser of this brand of “advice”?

For a long time I didn’t give any thought to the source of the advice, I just heard it and followed it as what was required of me next. But after decades of doing so, I found myself needing a year to recover from chronic illnesses and fatigue from all that doing and giving, was surrounded by more thousands of dollars of unfulfilling stuff than I care to think about (ever) and still felt disempowered to fully bring about the life I wanted. When enough finally became enough, you could say I went on a quest to make sense of all that I’d been experiencing – a quest that eventually led me to the simple but surprising source of the advice – my intellect (my unique expression of conditioned human intelligence).

I knew I had an intellect that can do all kinds of things – calculate, navigate, buy, sell (a.k.a., help me stay alive and function in the world), but until this quest of mine, I didn’t realize that:

  • it’s very aware of all of my soul’s experiences – all that I’ve learned, observed and felt;
  • all along it’s been deciding what it likes and doesn’t, what seems safe and doesn’t and has formed detailed (and VOCAL) opinions about all of it;
  • many of its opinions were formed before it could fully comprehend my experiences, but they’re still opinions it’s using to advise me today;
  • based on its opinions, it’s been confidently telling me how life really is and how I need to behave if I’m ever going to have a shot at being successful – according to it, of course; and
  • it’s assigned me a human identity (ego) and often advises me in accordance with staying tied to that identity.

This was eye opening stuff, to say the least. In fact, understanding the nature of my intellect has possibly been the most important discovery of my life, as I’d been giving it my rapt attention – turning my life over to it, really – thinking of it as the part of me that knows what’s what.

In all fairness to my intellect, sometimes its opinions and advice are fabulous; those are the ones that I respond to with deeply-felt, good feelings about myself and the world – they empower me (that’s what truth feels like). But looking back, I can see that much of its life advice has been of the not-quite-so-fabulous, disempowering variety, instructing my soul (and therefore my body) to jump through hoops that landed me where I didn’t want to be, leaving me longing for, but not truly connecting with, many of the things I most wanted in life – freedom from nervous habits, a deep sense of peace and wellbeing, utter confidence and ease in my ability to create a life that is profoundly fulfilling.

But as the gorgeous, wise and powerful nature of my spirit (my unique expression of Infinite intelligence) will have it, without even knowing I had a spirit or what it does, I eventually responded to its quiet prompting to take me far beyond the wisdom of my intellect by questioning the illness producing, joy-robbing, misguided hoop jumping. Once I opened the door to deeply question what I’d been experiencing, everything in my life began to shift for the better.

As I write this, I have tears of gratitude for the abundance that’s been streaming into my life ever since my conscious relationship with this part of me began – I’m regularly in awe of: the kind, supportive people in my life; the magnificence of my home and it’s view; the peace that’s flowing through me; the gorgeous places I travel; how often ease is a part of all I do; the strength of my body that allows me to move so uninhibitedly; the wellbeing in my soulful work and the recognition of the differences between the messages of intellect and the messages of spirit in myself and others. And when I do feel anxious and distant from my spirit, I’m much better at reconnecting and going where my spirit guides me to get the soulful support I need.

So, while I have immense gratitude for all the amazing things my intellect is wonderful at helping me with, I’ve found it’s important not to expect this part of me to be the one that best deals in the realms of my truth (the language of spirit), peace, creativity or awesome advice on how to navigate my life’s purpose(s).

If, like me, you’ve become weary of wandering the desert of questionable advice and would like to get to know the wellspring of your spirit (the part of you that can be expected to deliver your truth – every time) more intimately, here’s one simple process to open the door, inviting a meaningful relationship with it:

  1. Close your eyes.
  2. Take a couple of easy breaths.
  3. Put a hand and your attention on both your heart and belly.
  4. Rest into the quiet of this gorgeous space, breath into it.
  5. Begin a conversation (out loud) with this space; it might go something like this: “Hi spirit, it’s me. It’s come to my attention that I’ve been following my intellect over you. I’d like to get to know you better, pay more attention to you, talk to you and listen to what you have to say – I’d like to have an intimate relationship with you. I’m going to come to this space often and share what’s troubling me and ask your advice. And, I’m going to listen into the quiet of this space for your response. Thank you!”
  6. Stay for a minute, resting into the quiet of this space before continuing your day, knowing that you can drop into this space any time you like.

This practice is extremely effective, but may seem silly to our intellect/ego and be easily dismissed. But all the while our soul yearns for this gentle, thoughtful connection with our very own attention, our very own truth – our very own good, good life.

Forgetting for a moment our desire for answers, it’s worth celebrating that resting into the quiet of this space, alone, acts as a portal for a much better feeling life to rush in – in the moment and in the days ahead.

But yes, we like answers. There’s nothing wrong with that. So, we can relax into this space, tell our spirit what’s going on, ask our question and listen. And when we want to know more, we can relax into this space, tell our spirit what’s going on, ask a follow-up question and listen.

Rest assured, that with practice, you’ll become very familiar with the voice of your spirit. Until then, it may help to know a few things:

  • It’s void of pro/con lists and rationalization.
  • It’s always empowering.
  • It feels good in the body, it’s grounding.
  • It’s always kind.
  • It can seem scary. Not because our truth is actually scary – but because the story our intellect/ego head tells us about our truth feels scary.

What can you do with the scary stuff?

Notice it, feel it, breath into it and allow it (feelings won't stay stuck in the body once they’re felt). Then, when you’re ready, you can return to the practice of asking and listening. If you’ve been practicing for a while and don’t believe you’re hearing from your truth, consider continuing your practice.

When we make ourselves available to our spirit in this way, we open that portal through which our spirit will answer. However, it often answers when our intellect least expects it and in ways our intellect least expects it – eventually our intellect will even begin to work in sync with our spirit. And then one day, unexpectedly, you’ll be struck with the sweetest realization you’re in a much better (and kinder) relationship with your own self, your own life.

Originally published on June 29, 2018 at  KindOverMatter.com